Have you ever felt uncomfortable seeing yourself playing? Well, I have!
Yesterday I switched on my mobile phone camera while I was practicing some blues lines on a backing tracking I’d found on youtube.
My intention was not to shoot a real video, i.e. a good quality video for publication. I just wanted to do it for myself, to have a general idea of what was going on, whether I was on the right way or not.
Well, when I played it back and saw myself… OMG I felt so bad!!
I didn’t like anything I saw on the screen. I hated my hands in particular, they looked so ugly. So unfitting for an electric bass… And I had such a tense expression on my face. Awful. A real shock to the system 😯
And so, I ended up thinking: “Me wanting to play the bass? It looks like a mission impossible. As far-fetched as an old woman wanting to act in a hot movie!!”
This is what I told my self aloud (in Italian), and as soon as I did this, I burst out laughing… and the atmosphere got a bit lighter then.
But still I felt really uncomfortable in that role. Quite unlikely. Or maybe I was just too tired to judge. So I decided to follow a piece of advice I’d just read on the blog POINTLESS OVERTHING:
Bottom line, when we’re tired, we need to sleep. Period. Otherwise, we might regret our behavior later on.
(BTW, here is the link to the full article for you to read: https://pointlessoverthinking.com/2019/03/07/what-happens-when-youre-too-tired/)
Or, as an old friend used to tell me, don’t make any decision when you are:
or you might regret it later. And so yesterday, as I was probably feeling a mix of the 3 things above, I just put both my bass and my judgement on hold until the day after.
Today it doesn’t look that bad. I need to give myself a second chance, but next time I’ll put some make up on and try to smile while playing. Maybe I’ll look better then 😀